DIARY

May 29 2024
It's been almost a year since I wrote here :o
I'm not living in Bushwick with J anymore. Things happened, I left. The stalagtites on the microwave ceiling were the last straw. I spent a little while living in an AirBnb in Queens. I liked Queens, but Brooklyn feels a little more like home to me now.
My new Williamsburg apartment is coming along nicely. I have 2 rooms, one is a sort of living room slash foyer situation, and the smaller room is where I sleep. Even though I'm feeling sick, I decided to finish building my IKEA wardrobe yesterday, which probaly wasn't the smartest idea but I'm glad I did it. The living room area is really coming together. I'm happy.
Today, since I have the day to myself, I decided that I'm going to spend today being intentional with how I spend my time. I spent too much time yesterday (and many other days) watching fast content on youtube and that's just not the kind of life I want to live anymore. I feel depressed because I'm not being creative. My sense of self is dwindling ...
I want to be the kind of person who spends her free time reading, drawing, consuming thoughtfully. I don't want to watch another YouTube short ever again!!!! I want to watch movies. I want to watch videos about philosophy and art. I want to draw habitually. Why can't I do the things I WANT to do?

August 17 2023
I want to quit.
Despite having the nagging urge to just throw my smartphone into the river and get a flip phone (dumb phone), I just can't. I need it.
But after watching a few videos about people giving up their smart phones and opting for dumb phones, I can't help myself ...
I was thinking that this phone might be the best option for me because it's technically a smartphone, which means it can do all the things I need it to do without being too distracting, but after some consideration, I realized that the best option for me right now is to keep my iPhone, but remove all the distracting apps that are keeping my screen time high. There are a few reasons for this.
1. I don't want to spend unnecessary money on a new toy. If I'm being honest with myself, the reason I want that phone is because it's cute. I can accomplish what I want to accomplish (which is reducing screen time) by, like I said before, simply removing distracting apps.
2. Let's be real, the UI of an iPhone is waaaaay better. And I don't want to run into problems - like, what if the navigation capabilities aren't that good, and I get lost? It took me like an hour to find the 6 train a couple months ago, how am I gonna do it without a phone?

CLICK HERE FOR MY ANTI-TECH MANIFESTO

August 15 2023
I guess I have lots of thinking to do. I like my job, but I need to consider the fact that it's not sustainable. I can't live with a roommate forever. My dream is to live in my own apartment where I don't have to clean up after people, can have guests over whenever I want, and decorate everything exactly how I want it.
I think my crush on Boy finally went away, and now I can focus my efforts on finding someone who really suits me.~